In this weeks thrilling peak into the life of, the loving couple make a journey to DC, the Kardashians we actually care about get cameos, and Rob learns what a fruit salad is.
Most importantly, we get to finally gratified some of Chynas family and MAN do things start to make a lot more sense Re: Chynas preferred method of confrontation.
Chynas mom is named Tokyo Toni and I am already over this episode. Chyna describes her as the realest person she knows. This doesnt seem like much of a competition as Chyna lives in LA and expends most of her time hanging out with the Kardashians.
Tokyo Toni wants Rob and Chyna to come up to visit her in DC for the 4th of July so Rob can experience his first real block party. Chyna is a well-known fact that Rob would dislike every part of this, so shes probably going to stimulate him do it.
True love: checking in on your boyfriends Postmates orders to make sure he isnt cheating on his diet. How sad do you have to be to order a Kit Kat on Postmates? Thats a level of self-deprecation that I have yet to even reach.
Chyna tells Rob that she got a bellow from Kim and Khlo inviting her to Khlos birthday party. He had already known about the party but hadnt told her because he didnt want to go. Shocker. Something like Khlos birthday party would be high profile, aka Robs worst nightmare. To be fair, any party where I might have to stand next to Kendall Jenner in a photograph “wouldve been” my worst nightmare as well.
They decide to go to the party together and no one even screamed in a auto or threw corsages of flowers into the pool to get to that decision. Progress.
Chyna: Wow that was a healthy discussion that we handled like adults.
Chyna: So anyways lets discuss my mom next.
The second Chyna brings up the 4h of July Rob simply straight-up bails. Like, leaves her home. You can only handle so many serious conversations in a day before you have to Postmates some Kit Kats, I suppose.
While getting ready for Khlos party, Rob has a meltdown about his outfit and tries to get out of going. Let she who hasnt tried to cancel plans over a wardrobe malfunction throw the first stone. On the way to the party Rob casually drops that his diabetes may be acting up again. The last period this happened was because he went cold turkey on his insulin and had to expend some time in the ICU. Someone please explain to this grown-up adult that insulin isnt a Flinstones gummy vitamin that you can pop as you please.
Khlos birthday is at Dave& Busters, which results me to believe that it might actually be her bat mitzvah. If anyone decided to throw a mid-life coming of age rite for a religion they dont even follow, it would be a Kardashian.
Watching Khlo and Chyna interact is like the buildup to the watering hole scene in, and tbh I dont even know who would come out on top in that battle. Part of me wants to think that being pregnant would slow Chyna down, but even a blind Chyna at half-speed is even more capable of taking person out than me at peak fitness.
Rob stays for an hour to take photos before heading home. Weird , none of those seemed to make it to Instagram.
Chyna throws a BBQ after Khlos to try and keep Rob from reverting back to mole human mode. She invites Scott, who proceeds to provide all the amusement by talking about coke and Chynas dads dick. Scott is that guy that you bring to any event youre nervous about attending, because no matter the environment he will retain his outrageous, semi-drunk attitude.
Rob begrudgingly agrees to go to DC with Chyna and she starts the trip off with a tour of her childhood haunts. She stops to take some photos with fans outside her old home and Rob instantaneously shuts down.
Rob : Im really nervous about this family dinner, hopefully it runs smoothly.
Chyna : Oh cool I invited my estranged mothers who havent spoken to in ten YEARS.
She also invited three of her half-siblings , none of who have met her mother. Tokyo Toni doesnt seem like the kind of woman you want to ambush with these things, which means that the producers 100% sent out the invites and told Chyna to play along.
Tokyo Toni shows up in what looks like a Japanese garb with chopsticks sticking out of her hair, because no one is brave enough to explain cultural appropriation to her.
They are, however, brave enough to tell her that Chyna is basically the same age as two of her siblings, entailing her dad was cheating on Toni. This revelation doesnt go over well.
Rob: Im so glad that Chynas family is unstable, its genuinely taking the spotlight off me.
Toni lovingly tells the story of the first time she saw Chyna dancing at the club, as if it was her first high school dance or something. This leads to the family plus Chynas entourage heading toward Synsaysionals, Chynas first club. She describes it as a little bit ratchet, so you know Rob is going to pass out about 30 seconds in.
The journey to DC is clearly working out for Rob. Hes less anxious, more confident in public, and even stops for a few photos with fans. Say what you will about their relationship, but Chyna is plainly making progress here.
New drama: Gem, Chynas oldest friend, and Paige, Chynas current best friend, very clearly abhor each other. Treasure doesnt trust Paige( real name Mika) because she met Chyna after “shes been” famous. The tint is unreal. The entire crew is all out together bowling and Treasure wont even call her Paige because its her LA name, which is a little hypocritical because. you know Blac Chyna is for sure birth given.
Paige leaves the bowling party early because Treasure isnt even attempting to hide her animosity. Chyna satisfies her back at the hotel and tells her to work it out or else. Im securely Team Paige on this one, because Treasure scares the shit out of me. By the time the 4th of July party comes around they still havent worked out their issues, so Chyna pulls them both aside and builds them hash shit out in front of her. This mommy tactic 101 stimulates me thing Chyna is going to be a pretty solid mama. Honestly, Im glad that I suffered through the first two bearing episodes of this reveal to get to this confrontation.
Treasure, in front of a crew of suns and Tv cameras: Im just worried that Paige is employing Chyna for her fame.
Tokyo Toni pulls Rob and Chyna aside and fell some real truths. The problems Rob and Chyna have dont even compare to the shit that Toni went through: a poor 16 -year-old girl with a baby, figuring shit out on her own. She doesnt go so far as to call Rob a spoiled bitch, but the implication is there. Will this extremely emotion and alcohol-fueled advice change Robs perspective on life? Probably not.
2600 miles away, Kris wakes up in a cold sweat with the vaguely threatening sense that someone is trying to mother her son. She recollects his failed sock line and rolls over to go back to sleep.
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